Does Memory Game helps Alzheimer's

We have heard that, or by common sense know that memory games may have some positive effect in the deterioration of memory power. Thanks to the invention of Modern information technologies, now there are numerous of memory training program can be easily accessed online.

Does it work? Sure, I believe that by using our brain more it certainly helps with memorizing stuff. At least I think it works for me. And I think it would work with my dad too.

But the question is, is he going to play these games, will he take the initiative to tone up his memory again.

Honestly, if you ask him to do the online program, he wouldn't not do so, or he would just simply do some just to cater to us, he won't take them seriously. Forget bout the online one.

So I shall encourage him to play more games that he might have interest in or simply enjoy it. We have tried to Mahjung, a chinese gambling games, which is believed to be a game that you your brain the most in chinese community.

However, Frankie is type of don;t stick to a thing for to long. He will play depending on his mood. Or may be I just need to push a little harder, play more often with him. It is fun to me too.

I will prepare more activities for him to spend his time on, so that he wont leave his mind blank, "An empty mind is an Alzheimer's workshop" and to let Frankie give commitment sincerely, I would make the games and activities more in variety and interesting.


I am not too frustrated with his current state, but I pray that it wont be getting worse day by day, I am not that greedy, I wont long for him to recover fully as before, but maintaining the current state will do.

Frankie's Changes As An Alzheimer's

Frankie has changed a lot since his memory is deteriorating, He has in some extent transformed into a more decent man.

When I was a kid, I was so scared of Frankie and respected him fully. I would greet him when he came back home and I would never dare to ask him to buy me toys.

My thought at that time was I must respect him so much because he made a living and he fed me . I used to see him a few days only for a few months, he was always outstation as a contractor.Although he didn't scold me and he was quite cold to his children

After he's got memory problem, He has been changing gradually in his personalities and characteristic. He was not as ego as before, the way he socializes to us has also becoming friendlier, and it was great, I felt our bond and closer and tighter now.

He is becoming more dependent on us ever than before, his pride is weaker than before, it makes him more friendly and approachable ever than before. I enjoy my time with him now, chit chatting, playing games with him.

Once, there was a weekend when second sis and I were back home, I was so surprised when he said "Its so great, all the family members are home now." and he repeated in again and again and again. 

Even though it is at the cost of his weak memory, But when I am taking it in this way, I feel better, I hope my mum will feel the same too.

A Caregiver's Obsession

Again, my mum thinks that, Frankie may still have a chance to improve his memory

She believes that Frankie can rebuild his memory again

She reads that an Alzheimer's can't store any memory that occurs moment before

But my dad still could remember and do thing that he does routinely,

Like the password to unlock the alarm system and cleaning the dogs dung

She said if he were a real Alzheimer's, it would be impossible for him to remember them

She is so ambitious and positive thinking

Now she wants to rebuild his life,

she thinks that by making his everyday the same routine, he will slowly rebuild a new set of memory 

She is right in term of his safety, if it works, it will ease the work of care giving and also reduce the possibility of  him getting lost, and living without a purpose.

But I know her 

And I keep repeating the same saying to her 

"You have to accept the fact that it is him, a man with an colorful past and now in his 60 and inflicted to Alzheimer like most elder citizens do"

I have this thought is not because I m giving up on Frankie,

It is because I cant bear to see her getting up set over him

And don't want my mum fall in to great depression and disappointment by giving too much hope

For I crave for Frankie to recover his memory fully

But I just both of them could enjoy peacefully in the rest of their life.  

Depression caused to an Alzheimer's Caregiver

My mum, who was once a very patient mother with us was showing her outburst to my dad recently. The last time when she was so hot tempered I can recall was when I was a notorious kid. I was so surprised at her behavior to my dad, Frankie, I have once confessed to her, telling her that I don't agree with the way she interact with my dad now, we have to accept the fact that he's got this incurable.


She replies me calmly "Son, you don't understand, because you just visit him once for a while. So you can't feel the dreadful pressure of dealing with him." And she continued with the problem that she routinely faces with, I know she felt consoled when they are someone listening to her and understand her. 


And then she said "I know sometimes I am to harsh to him, but what can I do, I am also a human being, I also have emotion, and everything rests on my shoulders" from her tone, I could sense that she was afflicted with a conscience.


She is a Buddhist, a vegetarian, and she chants every day. She always instills some good qualities to us. I know that she is aware of how is she supposed  behave but why she can't control her emotion over Frankie, my dad. 


Now I realized that there are two reasons:

• First, it is a cause that I felt guilty about myself, that is all the responsibilities of taking care of my dad are all lied on her shoulders. She can't take it all by herself, they should be shared among all of us. But the reality is my two elder sisters have jobs to do, my eldest sister, SY has to work until 8 or 9 pm. And me, I am still an undergraduate who is pursuing my degree in the other state. As a result the duty of caregiver rests on her. The duty has to be spread out among us, and someone is needed to take the initiative, I will take the initiative, and I will travel back more often to take charge of the weekends. The responsibilities might not be fairly or evenly shared, but as a family member, we must try our best to give her, the caregiver support.

• I think her depression is triggered off partly because of her mindset. Frankie is only 60 now, and she feels so unlucky, because she thinks that it is to young for him to have Alzheimer, she is an ambitious lady, for her 60 should be a golden age. Therefore she is giving herself and Frankie too much pressure, hoping that he would recover which is impossible and blossom again in his live and even in his career. Frankie was a very capable type of father, and he was good at roads last time. I have ever told her, these were all past, his capabilities will only exist in our mind as memory. I must help her to let it be so that she can accept the fact better and find the best solution to aid him in the rest of his live, as he has contributed a lots to us in his younger time. She knows and understands, but she just feels that too early to happen on him. 

However worse his memory is deteriorating, I am so glad that his overall health is OK. And I have seen this matter differently, now I think that in some way is it actually good, now my bonds with my father is getting closer because of Alzheimer's he becomes more dependent and his superego is weaker now, the invisible screen between us is unveiled.

Patience Is Needed with Alzheimer Patient

To live with an old person who frequently forgets thing and conversation in seconds and loses the ability to make proper judgement can be very headache. Even if he is one of the closet person in your life, for sure you won't be fond if he or she keeps asking you the same question. This can be very challenging to those who deal with him, especially the one who are taking care of him.

No matter however irritating it can be, we must keep in our mind that he is the unlucky one and he doesn't behave in such way intentionally. And please, remember don't ever think that he is forgetful and therefore it is OK to show him your temper because he will forget it soon or later on. Even though his memory is weak, but at the moment as you scold him, still he possesses his pride, still he feels hurt. I guess the worst feeling doesn't  caused by the unpleasant words of blame he hears, the heartbreaking damage to him is that he feels he is burden to his family and we remind him of how useless he is now.

Being an Alzheimer patient is already so awful to anyone, So we must at least help to retain his self esteem. Can you imagine how miserable a life can be if you are an Alzheimer, some more hated by people you care for and living without self esteem. We as the family members can help avoid it by being patient to him. And If we see thing positively they are actually very adorable in some ways. If you change you perspective on them, you can actually cherish them because they are easy to feel content.

To ease the emotional stress on the one who take care of him, there is actually a very effective way. We can  allocate different tasks among the family. Such as, the one who take care of him daily should not be responsible to take him for medical visits. You know, jobs like bringing him out for a stroll, purchasing his necessities, preparing males, purchasing medicine should be segregated impartially between family members as fair as possible. The responsibility to take care of him doesn't solely lie on only someone, it should be shared. Everyone needs some private time, if all the responsibilities are stacked on one, slowly he will get traumatic and time after time generate hate over him.

Please be patient to the elderly in your family with Alzheimer, recall back what has he or she sacrificed for your or contributed to you in the past and treat them with LOVE.