Hospital Bahagia

There is a psychiatric hospital located in Tanjung Rambutan of Ipoh, one of the few I guess in Malaysia.
Since I was young I had already heard of it, my impression of it was an asylum with mad men behind bars mumbling creepily to themselves.
If you ask any folks on the streets in Ipoh, they will give you a similar answer, a place where lunatics are sent off to. This common perception is even stronger among elderly citizens.

But in fact it was not merely a place to capture the lunatics, there are in fact also a research center on psychiatric diseases with quite a number of experts in this field working there.
Recently it has opened their service to the citizen, other than doing research on the lunatics in its asylum it is now also treating patients suffering from mental illnesses and even Alzheimer.

Based on our own experience, I can tell that you should turn to this psychiatric hospital if you had a family members having any kind of memory problem and phyco problem because it is way more cheaper than the private hospital where you pay a good 50 bucks for an hour visit and the service is quite also way more better than private.

I can't believe my eyes in the first place. Because is was so stunning for me to learn that they are so professional.
My stereotype about this creepy place diminished immediately right after our first visit.

I still can recalled that there was a unpleasant face on the doctor in one of the private that we used to visit.
The doc never explained anything about my dad in detailed to us.
We knew that it was hard to explain everything explicitly to us
But at least please just shed some light on what step should we seriously take
Stop spitting out your professional terms to us and just show us a way to go
I couldn't see any balance between the money and time we spent and the service that I got
Thanks God, the doc suggested Lina to recourse to Tanjung Rambutan
I was thinking that she is fed up with the our lack of trust on her
The doc even once snapped at my mum impatiently
"Auntie, why do you still come to visit me, has I not told you to give a try in Tanjung Rambutan"

By hearing this conversation, Lina has made up her mind to go there.
In fact, the reason why she was reluctant to Tanjung Rambutan was because she thought it was not appropriate to recourse to governmental hospital, because she believed that governmental aid was meant for helping those who have financial problem.
With a very strong believe in her religion, she didn't think we were fit to this aid and she was determined not to go for governmental, but then she had choice and she had to take this as a last resort because we had actually visited almost all the experts in our town.

I was the company to Lina and Frankie in our first visit there.
It was located in a rural area
Lina and Frankie were both going there with a mixed emotions
Lina might be thinking that she needed to do more charity work for taking this advantage which is supposed to the poor
And Frankie himself was actually coming with a reluctant heart, it was more like being forced to be here by Lina.
But I had not the dilemma Lina faced and I had opened up my mind to accept what would amaze me soon.

Poor Frankie, my Dad was still thinking that we were bringing him to an asylum
"I knew this is a place for mad men, I sure remembered that"
he mumbled this after he asked us where were we heading for
Lina and I had to tell him that we were going for a new doctor and tried to avoid his questioning bout we were we going.

I felt guilty of it when I noticed that he was looking around with a blank face and mumbling soundlessly to himself and when I sensed that he was aware that we were going to Hospital Bahagia, a place he hated and thought that only madmen will go there in a sunny day.

The atmosphere was quite like those typical governmental clinic. We had to hang out in a near by hypermarket and get back again because we reached at a wrong time, lunch and praying hour on Friday. So we got back by 2 30 pm and be the first in the queue. A patient nurse had helped us with the registration and my daddy was called to do some check on blood pressure, height and weight and we were asked to sit on a sofa and wait for our turn in front of a consultation room. It took us some time in the wait that we expected in a government unit.
Then we saw a very tall guard in brown uniform brought along a lunatic who dressed like a patient in a faint blue cloth knocking on the door of the consultation room next the one that we were waiting for. His face is like spiritless, with his eyes like staring at point in full concentration and his jaw moving restlessly as if he was mumbling something soundlessly. The guard ordered him to sit down and pass a file to the Chinese doc who came out of that room and the patient went in while the tall guard waited on the sofa opposite to us.

This is in fact a scene I want to avoid Frankie to witness, I was so worried that he would think that we were bringing him to a asylum and treated him like a madman. I noticed that Frankie had been avoiding the view since the Chinese lunatic appeared.

Lina seemed unaware of it and urged Frankie to go into the consultation room when he was called by the doctor in the room. He didn't seem so friendly and strict, but I could tell that he was so serious in understanding Frankie like his recent memory condition, behavior, medical history and lifestyle. We were so fond with it despite the time that we had waited because never had a doctor that we had visited shown such a keen and serious attitude to the matter, most of them would just tell us to take the prescription.

Then a test was conducted to test Frankie's memory, it ranged from easy question like, where is here, time and, and date, some simple math problem and some drawing. And I found that they were quite useful and I had sometimes asked this same question to him after that.

The Unpredictable Breakout

I guess sometimes Frankie will be so blur and terribly forgetful.
this is the time when the case is worst most
But usually things will be normal on the next morning.

Sometimes he is not that bad.
He will feel annoyed if you keep testing him on some normal stuff like where is he now and has he had his meal. Too much of this kind of testing will sometimes offense him.
He will express to us that
" You think I am that bad, a kid can answer these question"
We are glad with this sign but at the same time I guess we protect his ego as well.

However, things are not that satisfactory sometimes.
He asks the same thing over and over again
He will just forget about what you have told him seconds ago
and he will ask for a couple of time in a row
where by in the "normal" circumstances he may just ask you a few times in a day

It is hard to anticipate his condition
sometimes he is good
and in some moment worst
that the difference is so apparent and huge

Lina has yet to consult to the doc with regard to this periodical symptoms
But we guess it is due to his mental state or maybe his feeling
the worst state might break out when he feels insecure inside
Last month we have been to Hong Kong for travelling
and he was so blur and worst off in one of the nights where there was so noisy and crowded
I can see that he is scared
scared to be lost
kept urging us to be home immediately
and kept saying that he was in Klang , Malaysia as we asked him

The other reason could because he is tired, over-worked with his brain and physically
just take an example
sometimes when he has been driving so long hours he will be terribly forgetful
( he still drives with someone guiding him)
 Definitely he still can drive alone around our residential area
thanks god he still recognize the roads

He still can memorize something

My mum always tells him not to go to the petrol station everyday
But he has made it routine to the petrol station everyday after going to office
One night Lina found out that the money that he spends is not reasonable
He is given RM 30 everyday, but at the end of the day, there is only a few ringgits in his wallet
Normally he just spend for food only
and it is too much to spend RM 30 plus a meal

light is shedded on the question one day.
When Lina went to a petrol station and the cashier told her
" Uncle will come here everyday. And he will forget to fill the petrol after he has paid the money"
Then a cleaner who heard the conversation in distance added in a curious manner
"Ya, I have also noticed it. I wonder why he can forget it every single day"
Then the young cashier advised Lina not to let him to come alone anymore

My mum was so startled and at the same time feels so hurt inside
because now she knows that the case is deteriorating now

I think that even though he has Alzheimer but he still can recall think that is told to him sometimes
May be after he pays, he recalls that Lina has told him not to fill and so he goes off
or may be he just simply forgets that he hasn't fill as he walks back to his car after making the payment.
whatever it is, it is not a good sign

Does Memory Game helps Alzheimer's

We have heard that, or by common sense know that memory games may have some positive effect in the deterioration of memory power. Thanks to the invention of Modern information technologies, now there are numerous of memory training program can be easily accessed online.

Does it work? Sure, I believe that by using our brain more it certainly helps with memorizing stuff. At least I think it works for me. And I think it would work with my dad too.

But the question is, is he going to play these games, will he take the initiative to tone up his memory again.

Honestly, if you ask him to do the online program, he wouldn't not do so, or he would just simply do some just to cater to us, he won't take them seriously. Forget bout the online one.

So I shall encourage him to play more games that he might have interest in or simply enjoy it. We have tried to Mahjung, a chinese gambling games, which is believed to be a game that you your brain the most in chinese community.

However, Frankie is type of don;t stick to a thing for to long. He will play depending on his mood. Or may be I just need to push a little harder, play more often with him. It is fun to me too.

I will prepare more activities for him to spend his time on, so that he wont leave his mind blank, "An empty mind is an Alzheimer's workshop" and to let Frankie give commitment sincerely, I would make the games and activities more in variety and interesting.


I am not too frustrated with his current state, but I pray that it wont be getting worse day by day, I am not that greedy, I wont long for him to recover fully as before, but maintaining the current state will do.

Frankie's Changes As An Alzheimer's

Frankie has changed a lot since his memory is deteriorating, He has in some extent transformed into a more decent man.

When I was a kid, I was so scared of Frankie and respected him fully. I would greet him when he came back home and I would never dare to ask him to buy me toys.

My thought at that time was I must respect him so much because he made a living and he fed me . I used to see him a few days only for a few months, he was always outstation as a contractor.Although he didn't scold me and he was quite cold to his children

After he's got memory problem, He has been changing gradually in his personalities and characteristic. He was not as ego as before, the way he socializes to us has also becoming friendlier, and it was great, I felt our bond and closer and tighter now.

He is becoming more dependent on us ever than before, his pride is weaker than before, it makes him more friendly and approachable ever than before. I enjoy my time with him now, chit chatting, playing games with him.

Once, there was a weekend when second sis and I were back home, I was so surprised when he said "Its so great, all the family members are home now." and he repeated in again and again and again. 

Even though it is at the cost of his weak memory, But when I am taking it in this way, I feel better, I hope my mum will feel the same too.

A Caregiver's Obsession

Again, my mum thinks that, Frankie may still have a chance to improve his memory

She believes that Frankie can rebuild his memory again

She reads that an Alzheimer's can't store any memory that occurs moment before

But my dad still could remember and do thing that he does routinely,

Like the password to unlock the alarm system and cleaning the dogs dung

She said if he were a real Alzheimer's, it would be impossible for him to remember them

She is so ambitious and positive thinking

Now she wants to rebuild his life,

she thinks that by making his everyday the same routine, he will slowly rebuild a new set of memory 

She is right in term of his safety, if it works, it will ease the work of care giving and also reduce the possibility of  him getting lost, and living without a purpose.

But I know her 

And I keep repeating the same saying to her 

"You have to accept the fact that it is him, a man with an colorful past and now in his 60 and inflicted to Alzheimer like most elder citizens do"

I have this thought is not because I m giving up on Frankie,

It is because I cant bear to see her getting up set over him

And don't want my mum fall in to great depression and disappointment by giving too much hope

For I crave for Frankie to recover his memory fully

But I just both of them could enjoy peacefully in the rest of their life.  

Depression caused to an Alzheimer's Caregiver

My mum, who was once a very patient mother with us was showing her outburst to my dad recently. The last time when she was so hot tempered I can recall was when I was a notorious kid. I was so surprised at her behavior to my dad, Frankie, I have once confessed to her, telling her that I don't agree with the way she interact with my dad now, we have to accept the fact that he's got this incurable.


She replies me calmly "Son, you don't understand, because you just visit him once for a while. So you can't feel the dreadful pressure of dealing with him." And she continued with the problem that she routinely faces with, I know she felt consoled when they are someone listening to her and understand her. 


And then she said "I know sometimes I am to harsh to him, but what can I do, I am also a human being, I also have emotion, and everything rests on my shoulders" from her tone, I could sense that she was afflicted with a conscience.


She is a Buddhist, a vegetarian, and she chants every day. She always instills some good qualities to us. I know that she is aware of how is she supposed  behave but why she can't control her emotion over Frankie, my dad. 


Now I realized that there are two reasons:

• First, it is a cause that I felt guilty about myself, that is all the responsibilities of taking care of my dad are all lied on her shoulders. She can't take it all by herself, they should be shared among all of us. But the reality is my two elder sisters have jobs to do, my eldest sister, SY has to work until 8 or 9 pm. And me, I am still an undergraduate who is pursuing my degree in the other state. As a result the duty of caregiver rests on her. The duty has to be spread out among us, and someone is needed to take the initiative, I will take the initiative, and I will travel back more often to take charge of the weekends. The responsibilities might not be fairly or evenly shared, but as a family member, we must try our best to give her, the caregiver support.

• I think her depression is triggered off partly because of her mindset. Frankie is only 60 now, and she feels so unlucky, because she thinks that it is to young for him to have Alzheimer, she is an ambitious lady, for her 60 should be a golden age. Therefore she is giving herself and Frankie too much pressure, hoping that he would recover which is impossible and blossom again in his live and even in his career. Frankie was a very capable type of father, and he was good at roads last time. I have ever told her, these were all past, his capabilities will only exist in our mind as memory. I must help her to let it be so that she can accept the fact better and find the best solution to aid him in the rest of his live, as he has contributed a lots to us in his younger time. She knows and understands, but she just feels that too early to happen on him. 

However worse his memory is deteriorating, I am so glad that his overall health is OK. And I have seen this matter differently, now I think that in some way is it actually good, now my bonds with my father is getting closer because of Alzheimer's he becomes more dependent and his superego is weaker now, the invisible screen between us is unveiled.

Patience Is Needed with Alzheimer Patient

To live with an old person who frequently forgets thing and conversation in seconds and loses the ability to make proper judgement can be very headache. Even if he is one of the closet person in your life, for sure you won't be fond if he or she keeps asking you the same question. This can be very challenging to those who deal with him, especially the one who are taking care of him.

No matter however irritating it can be, we must keep in our mind that he is the unlucky one and he doesn't behave in such way intentionally. And please, remember don't ever think that he is forgetful and therefore it is OK to show him your temper because he will forget it soon or later on. Even though his memory is weak, but at the moment as you scold him, still he possesses his pride, still he feels hurt. I guess the worst feeling doesn't  caused by the unpleasant words of blame he hears, the heartbreaking damage to him is that he feels he is burden to his family and we remind him of how useless he is now.

Being an Alzheimer patient is already so awful to anyone, So we must at least help to retain his self esteem. Can you imagine how miserable a life can be if you are an Alzheimer, some more hated by people you care for and living without self esteem. We as the family members can help avoid it by being patient to him. And If we see thing positively they are actually very adorable in some ways. If you change you perspective on them, you can actually cherish them because they are easy to feel content.

To ease the emotional stress on the one who take care of him, there is actually a very effective way. We can  allocate different tasks among the family. Such as, the one who take care of him daily should not be responsible to take him for medical visits. You know, jobs like bringing him out for a stroll, purchasing his necessities, preparing males, purchasing medicine should be segregated impartially between family members as fair as possible. The responsibility to take care of him doesn't solely lie on only someone, it should be shared. Everyone needs some private time, if all the responsibilities are stacked on one, slowly he will get traumatic and time after time generate hate over him.

Please be patient to the elderly in your family with Alzheimer, recall back what has he or she sacrificed for your or contributed to you in the past and treat them with LOVE.